Library Fees



Library Fees is the first episode of the Zombie George Washington series. It is about Zombie George Washington returning some late library books, and has to pay a fee. So he eats the librarian's bwains.

Transcript
(title screen)

Librarian: Can I help you?

Zombie George Washington: RAAAHHH! I have library books to return!

Librarian: And your name?

Zombie George Washington: Zombie George Washington!

Librarian: Yeah, okay, I'm afraid there's gonna be a late fee on these.

Zombie George Washington: Zombie George Washington HATES LATE FEES! (the screen zooms in) How much is it?

Librarian: Well, it says here these books were due back on November 2nd, 1789, so let's see. (typing noises) The fees add up to $4,577.

Zombie George Washington: What?! Zombie George Washington don't have that kind of money!

Librarian: But, adjusted for inflation, it looks like you owe us a little over, oh, $300,000.

Zombie George Washington: Ooh! (farts)

Librarian: Sir, are you alright?

Zombie George Washington: Zombie George Washington just shit his pants.

Librarian: Look, how would you like to pay for this, sir, cash or charge?

Zombie George Washington: Um, Zombie George Washington wants to know if you take BRAINS as payment?

Librarian: No, sir, I'm sorry, we don't take brains.

Zombie George Washington: That's too bad, because I DO!

(Zombie George Washington eats the librarian's brain)

Librarian: (screaming)

Zombie George Washington: (munching sounds) See you next time, kids!